i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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