Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
Randomize
