Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
