Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize