I only kidnapped one of them. chill
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
Randomize
