i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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