My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
