so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
