I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Randomize