Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
