I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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