ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
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