I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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