I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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