he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
Randomize