2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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