So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
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