i think my mom watched the whole time
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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