there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
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