He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
