she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
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