I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
