So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
