Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize