dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize
