No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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