my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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