Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
