i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Randomize