Whod you bang
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
