don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
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