Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
