I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I DEMAND FORESKIN
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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