i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
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