I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Randomize
