There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
