the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Panties = found
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
