i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Randomize