its not stalking. its research.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
