Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
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