I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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