White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
My day in three words: secret purse cake
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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