no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Randomize
