Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
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