Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
