his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
