I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
