dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
third nipple confirmed
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
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