apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
These tits shall not be calmed
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
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