That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
a search helicopter?!
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
