I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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