maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
