your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
