Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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