Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
if you really don't think our country's going to shit think of this. Exactly one year from now I will either be in law school or teaching young, impressionable kids, maybe even yours. Try to sleep after that.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
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