btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
