everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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