when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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