Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Randomize
