I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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