I hate your face
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
