Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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